Being born with the ability to grow boobs and other humans, I theoretically should be able to wear heels… right? It should be instinctual! I’d really like that theory to pan out one day, and on that day I would gracefully enter a room in some ridiculous-inch-high shoes that’d allow me to view the tops of heads. I’d be able to walk in them without a wobble, my legs would be lengthened & my stride defined.
Yeah, I don’t really see that day happening any time soon. It is indeed a fact that I’ve made it to my 25th year of life without stepping out with more than around 1.5inches of extra oomph on my feet. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my nikes & converse – for all their comforted colourfulness – but sometimes a girl just want something a little more elegant. Luckily my height isn’t an issue, I measure in at around 5ft8 so I don’t really need that extra couple of inches, but it would still be handy seeing as Adam is a 6ft3 giant.
Apparently it’s all about practice, but my god, where the hell do you find the time to practice wearing shoes?! Surely there are other things more worthy of practice?! Maybe it’s time I did get myself some trainer-heels, are they even a thing? they should be. A shoe that you can slowly add extra heel to whilst you teeter around the house. But again, is it worth the time?
Ho-hum, look at the pretty. Part of me looks at these shoes and my ankles cringe at impending breakage, but another part considers that leg length, height boost and overall outfit completeness. Of course there are a myriad of wonderful pumps & ballet style shoes available, and I do own several pairs of girlies albeit flat footware, part of me could even learn to forget heels ever exsisted.
…but damn, a heel would be nice.
Study Material
Wikihow: How to walk in High Heels is a good step-by-step article on how to go from flats (where I am now) to high-heels. Definitely worthy of a read.
Whilst I wish I had a closet that size (and a daddy to buy my shoes), she does give some good examples & tips on how to walk in heels, starting from a low heel and going up to a high stilleto.
Please tell me I’m not the only one with this problem?! I’ll be starting my heel-wearing journey over the next couple of weeks, I’ll document any broken bones and sore feet just for you :)
I thought it was time we cleared a few things up, I mean, the air between us hasn’t been good for a while now… and I feel like I owe you an explanation. Where should I begin? …
I remember when I first saw you, wow, that was a long time ago. You weren’t as popular back then, or as colourful! heh… You were cute in that short and dumpy way, I’ll give you that — I guess in your own little way you still are. I remember those stories you told me about how you used to hang out with the surfers and swimmers, I’m sure you fitted right in there! I don’t know whether it was your homesickness from leaving Australia and your attempt to fit in, or some wish to be thought of as ‘cool’, but ever since you started hanging around with that Paris girl, well, you changed — you never used to wear pink for a start. Then I started seeing you with all her friends too, that crowd of people… why did you do that? I guess I can’t lay all the blame with you for that, they knew you were different… paraded you as some kind of new toy. Even when they dropped you that time for Mukluks? when they came running back to you I watched on as you greeted them with open arms.
Yes, looking back that’s when things started to change. I think it got worse when I saw you hanging out in those cheap high-street shops, you’d really let your standards drop… you’d turned so synthetic, half the time you went by some weird pseudonym or something, too. What happened? I think you might have started to spread yourself too thin, wanting to be ‘in’ with as many people as you could.
And now? Now I don’t even know who you are anymore, one day you’ll be wearing wool, the next you’re covered in laces…and some of the colours… oof. I see you more than ever now, sometimes I think you look like you’re doing ok, other times I really wonder what went wrong. Like the other day, you were hanging out with this girl who was wearing baggy sweat pants and a baggy pink hooded sweater, and she wasn’t even at the gym. Wow. I thought you had a bit more class than that. When I saw you in Australia last year you looked so well! Like your old self again! You’d got your colour back and looked homely again.
Anyway, I’m babbling, I just wanted to let you know my reasons. I hope you can understand. Don’t get me wrong, I still think you’re so lovely, warm and cosy… I just can’t be seen with you anymore. I hope we can still hang out around the house, though.
Yours,
Kim
PS. I don’t know if you’ve been in touch with Crocs lately, but I’ll be writing to him at some point. We also have a few things to clear up.
Oh my, I am completely entranced by these weird shoes…
You can find them asos.com. I’m thinking that this kind of shoe might be just the thing to great my fear of heels. Whilst I’d still benefit from the added height, the weird heel structure would make it feel like I was wearing flat. So I’d be able to train my arch into being STRONG at the heel-height, thus making it easier for me to progress to normal heels! Or maybe I just want to be a space age vixen and wear ridico shoes.
Oh my, I’ve recently developed quite a problem. Instead of doing what normal people do on their lunch hours, that being, you know, eating lunch and stuff… I’ve taken to window shopping. Mainly for shoes. Shoe’s that I’ll probably never wear (seriously, I live in trainers and converse.. sometimes flats), but shoes that are so so pretty that I can’t resist building outfits around them. I worry though, one day I know I’ll find the right pair and snap them up, but dear god what if they’re huge heels? I can’t handle heels, really.
The current love of my shoe lust life exist in miss selfridge. *Here is where I would show you a picture, but they’re not on the website anymore :O* They’re dark purple, with laces, bits of PVC but mainly suede, and oh so oh high. I would fall, I keep having to remind myself this… I would fall right over! I know, right? So why do I keep going and touching them? Crazy lady.
So, my dear readers, here is where you have to confess your window shopping sins. What impractical entities do you lust after?
Hi, I'm Kim. Between being a web designer and making pretty things I'm mostly interested in Creatures (regular and crypto), geekiness, my inner domestic goddess, drawing and coffee.
